Life in the Check-Out Lane

Okay, so I was at the department store, and I got some elastic straps with fasteners on each end. The purpose is to fasten them onto loose fitted bedsheets and pass them under the mattress, so the sheet fits snugly. The woman working the register had never seen any before, so she asked me, “What are those?”

“Sheet garters,” I said.

The woman behind me choked. I looked at her. Eyes wide, she said, “Excuse me.”

“SHEET garters,” I said. “SHEET-uhTuh.”

“Oh,” she said, looking both relieved and somewhat…sheepish.

I shook my head. “I don’t live nearly as interesting a life as you thought I did.”

We now return to our regularly scheduled rambling.

Some friends of mine have been raving about this “toddy maker” or cold brew coffee device. It costs about thirty (30) smackers. Anyone who knows me, knows I prefer to keep as many of my smackers to myself as I can possibly manage.

Interwebs to the rescue! I found several DIY methods. I tried just putting the grounds and water in a glass container, then straining it through a mesh sieve. Messy, and used: sieve, glass container, jar for strained concentrate. Another site gave instructions for making a device out of nesting plastic cups, one with holes drilled in the bottom. Cheap and compact, but I would have had to DO something. Then I had a brainstorm.

I have a seed sprouter that I seldom use. I totally adore sprouts, but I would have to know I wanted some several days before I wanted them. You can’t just say, “Gee, some sprouts would go good on this sammich,” and sprout some. Meh. But it’s PERFECT for this cold brew wheeze.

COLD BREW COFFEE

• 1 part coffee grounds
• 4 parts cold water

Put the seed-holding cup inside the water-holding cup. If there’s an insert to accommodate tiny seeds, put it in. Add coffee grounds and water. Stir not at all or very little, just get all the grounds wet. Put on the top and refrigerate the whole shebang for 8-12 hours. Take off the top and lift the inner cup enough for the concentrate to drain out. You can jiggle it a little now and then to encourage drainage. Shouldn’t take more than a few minutes. Pour out about 1 part concentrate to 4 parts water, depending on the strength you like. Put the lid back on the unused portion and refrigerate between uses. Smooooth.

MA

writing prompt: Think up a plot that hinges on someone misunderstanding one word in the checkout line.