So yesterday, I got all industrious and Earth-Mother and decided to make fresh mayonnaise. We have fresh eggs from local chickens, so I thought, “Why not make fresh mayo and know what goes into it?”

I have a cookbook that tells how to do it. Unfortunately, the cookbook doesn’t have pictures. “Beat it until it goes into emulsion” is all well and good, and I know what that means, but I didn’t know what it was supposed to look like. I’ll tell you something for free: It isn’t supposed to look like cake batter. I kept adding oil a drop at a time and adding oil and adding oil and then adding lemon juice and then oil and then lemon juice and then oil, and I just got more cake batter. Cake batter that smelled like lemon and olive oil. It would probably make a pretty good floor polish but mayonnaise, not so much.

Today, I got wise and looked it up on the internet and found several sites that had pictures of every step. It should have gone all mayonnaisey right away. I guess when they say, “it will go out of emulsion and separate” they don’t mean “you will be able to tell the oil from the egg yolk”, they mean “it will look like cake batter.”

One site suggested using an immersion blender, which I have, so I may try it again. There’s only so much oil in the world, so I won’t do this particular fail too many times before I decided to just go to Rainbow Blossom and get organic mayo. Or I might use the recipe I found for “mayo” made with mashed potatoes. I’m all about carbs, anyway.


writing prompt: What would your main character do if he/she ran out of a condiment he/she considers essential?