I got home from the sleep clinic at 7AM this morning. No, I did not sleep well.

When I pulled into the parking lot at shortly before 8pm last night, the parking lot was all but deserted, though the building was brightly lit. Somehow, I hadn’t expected the emptiness–don’t know why. It was fairly creepy, actually.

The building was brightly lit but utterly deserted–insofar as I could see. I tippy-tapped down the hall, reading identifying plaques, until I came to the sleep clinic. There, a very nice and just-perky-enough tech welcomed me. She led me past the monitors and into my room. It was a nice room, with a jolly big bed and a cozy armchair. There was a tv near the ceiling, and I thought, Oh, boy!–I can watch “Castle”!

No.

Then the tech, who seemed so nice but was made of Pure Evil, went out into the monitor room, which I had to pass through in order to get to the Necessary, and made a pot of coffee. And me with no caffeine all day!

She had me put on my jammies and then came back in to wire me up. Paste in my hair and on the back of my head, belts to monitor this and that, wires connected to my legs (for restless leg syndrome), head (brain waves–yes or no), next to my eyes (dreaming), under my collarbones (heartbeat) and prongs in my nose and in front of my mouth (nose breather or mouth breather). Oh, yeah, and one on my throat to see if I snore (I’ll tell the world I do).

I was not a pretty sight.

So she got me wired up and tucked in. I said, “Would you hand me my book, please?” She said, “Actually, I’m going to turn out the light and get the study started.”

No book for me. No “Castle” for me, either. 😦

I bored myself to sleep. Did not sleep restfully, but I did sleep. I did snore, too. The tech showed me the graph and explained that thick, close lines were a snore, and the thicker and closer they were, the louder the snore. Mine looked like rectangles.

So I probably have sleep apnea, although the tech said it looked mild to her. As for whether I have to wear an elephant mask, that remains to be seen.

As I left this morning, the parking lot was still deserted, and fog had frozen on my windows. I drove home, meeting folks on their way to work and probably getting myself a reputation–“Guess who I saw dragging her butt home before dawn this morning?” Came home to a dark house and a locked door, let myself in and made some COFFEE–CAFFEINATED COFFEE!

Sip–Ahhhhh, life is good.

MA

writing prompt: Does your main character snore? If so, who knows and how?

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