Okay, yesterday I was all Little Mary Sunshine, and “Oh, the sweet little lightning bugs! Oh, Bertie, I sometimes thing the fireflies are the twinkle in God’s eye,” and all that. Today, I’m suited up and practicing pointing my finger and Mother Nature and making ray-gun sound effects, like, “Pew-pew-pew!!” If I may use a phrase I picked up from the father of one of my friends, Mother Nature “done peed in church”.

Mother Nature apparently decided that, since I was so enamored of her lightning bugs, she’d send some more of her buggy little pals. So yesterday I was busy with visitations.

Ticks and chiggers, okay. Don’t like ’em, but if I go outside I have to expect ’em. Fair enough. But–

Okay, there were two different kinds of (in consideration for #4 daughter, who is arachnophobic, I will call these creatures by a code name) — two different kinds of squid in the house. One squid was the kind that look like Bambi at the end of Bambi Meets Godzilla, like a blotch with legs all sticking out around the edges. A wood squid, Charlie calls them. It was up on the wall, just squatting there all squidlike. Charlie took care of that one for me. The other squid was one of those streamlined gray ones with the racing stripes and the little legs all curled up under it. It was right on the couch where I habitually sit. I went librarian-poo. Fortunately, my #3 daughter, who is terrified of grasshoppers but loves squids, was here, and she rescued us from each other.

The rest of the day was one roach after another. Little ones, medium ones, one of those long flying ones made out of cellophane–you know the kind? They FLY if you aren’t careful. That one was ON MY ARM! I was like, DEAR GOD, what have I DONE? I will TOTALLY let your people go! Leave Egypt, and take your freakin’ plagues with you!

Here’s hoping today brings less of nature or more of liquor. If I’m going to have these Ray Milland moments, I might as well be drunk.

MA

writing prompt: Do bugs freak your character out? Some bugs but not others? How does he/she react to various bugs/insects?

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